Five weeks after a Major Shock Event At Work which was the cause of my current crisis of confidence, I think I may finally be coming out the other side. I guess there's room for several more dips and wobbles, but today at any rate I had a Good Day at Work for the first time in a long time.
Thanks to friends, who have convinced me that maybe I'm not a waste of space after all.
Also the following Survival Thoughts:
1. I'm doing this for me. Not them. There is no point spending my whole life worrying about whether they're going to stamp FAIL on my forehead. Their opinions are arbitrary and capricious, and don't deserve to have such a big influence on my life. I will get what I can, learn what I can, use this to become bigger and better. If that means I stay here, doing this, at the end of it all, all well and good. If not, then sobeit. I just have to focus on me, and on the people I can help along the way.
2. Just the fact that I'm still there, means I'm winning. They tried to force me to quit. They failed.
3. Small achievable goals. I had two small goals for today. I achieved them both. Rah me.
4. The sun is shining! And music heals.
Breaking the Waves
11 hours ago