Monday, 3 January 2011

Tomorrow and Tomorrow

I go back to work the day after tomorrow, after a break for Christmas, etc. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm mostly terrified. This year may easily be the hardest of my life*. Many difficult things are on the horizon.

Oh well. Never mind all that. I finally got round to reading @karlpmole (aka Bete de Jour, aka Karl Webster)'s Christmas story just now, and loved it. Heartwarming. Festive. Here.

*I won't be alone though. I'm not sure if that's helpful or just even more depressing. That global economy thing ain't pretty.


Queenie said...

Best of luck. You can do it. One day at a time.

HelenMWalters said...

I hope that going back to work turns out to be not as bad as you fear x

Dandelion said...

Fake it to make it. Have you a role model to emulate?

Alice Turing said...

Fake it to make it. That will be my mantra tomorrow.

Today was a disaster though. I walked into an important work meeting and ran out again ten minutes later, and had to take the rest of the day off. Tears, anxiety, etc. But everyone was very nice about it and I've been given help preparing for tomorrow. I barely slept last night, which didn't help. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight, and have a bit of a rest in what's left of this afternoon. I am chanting determinedly to myself, "I can do it" and I WILL do it. I do actually feel, bizarrely, much better about tomorrow, and am refusing to dwell on what a mess I made of today. At least people know now what a state I'm in. It might have been better, professionally, if I could have presented a more competent face, but I couldn't. I need help. That's all there is to it. I have even sang to myself, which also helped. I was alone but must have cut a bizarre figure, given what I chose to sing: "If you're clever and you know it, clap your hands... if you're skilful and you know it, nod your head... if you're capable and you know it, stamp your feet... if you're efficient and you know it, shout "I am!"... if you're creative and you know it, do all four"... and I did all the actions too.


Megan said...

Ugh. I have a mandatory annual review thingy coming up and I am NOT looking forward to it. I know that this year I've been phoning it in - but it's hard not to when the [unnamed organization] is doing what it's doing and things are so generally rotten. It's no fun to be a must-do-BETTER-than-best person when circumstances sort of force a meets-expectations kind of performance on you.

I do like the happy song, and I hope it does its job. If not, try the Stewart Smalley approach:!

I do hope 2011 holds really good things for you and yours.

JoeinVegas said...

Hope you figure things out, and stuff calms down.